Here we are, and another February 14th has rolled around the calendar. This time last year, I’d been contentedly single for 12 years, raising my two kids, and growing my business.
A few short months later, my world turned upside down when “I met someone.” Ah, the drama of those words… I can still recall how sweet it was the first time I called Frank “my boyfriend,” and how giddy and silly I felt using that phrase again at my age. It was so totally unexpected, yet something I yearned for deeply, to have that connection with someone that was more than just a superficial sharing of lives.
While I’d been alone for 12 years, he’d been on his own for 10. Both of us spent that time reflecting on what was important to us in relationships, what we needed out of them, what had gone wrong in past relationships, and the priorities future relationships had to have in order to succeed.
Each, on our own, had come to the conclusion that our faith needed to be the primary focal point of a solid relationship. As I’d put it, as two people draw nearer to Christ, they’re automatically drawn closer to each other as well. This concept had been shared with me years earlier as “the triangle theory,” where Christ and two people represent the three points of the triangle. It sounded good in theory, at least.
When I met Frank, I had the chance to test that theory, and found that it was 100% accurate. The first time we prayed together, and I heard his voice thanking God for bringing me into his life, is something that I will never forget. Talk about the power of a praying partner! There is no greater sense of being loved when your loved one tells God what a blessing you are to them, and how deeply and truly thankful they are for you.
— Tara R. Alemany (@eandtsmom) February 14, 2012
Due to our habit of prayer and the openness of our conversation with each other, I never doubted Frank’s love for me. I read a tweet this morning that said “If we truly love someone, every day should be Valentine’s Day.” That’s the way it was with us; not with the candy, cards and flowers, but with the openness of our feelings for one another.
When Frank died unexpectedly in October, the one solace I had was that I had always told him how I felt about him. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t know he was loved. And I still have the poems and e-mails he wrote to me, as well as many of the voicemail messages he left that reflect his heart and his humor.
So, what’s the big deal about Valentine’s Day? For those of you who have forgotten, it’s a day that reminds us to tell those we love how we feel. But if you want to live a life with no regrets for the past, don’t let Valentine’s Day end at midnight tonight. We never know how long we’ll have on this Earth.
Be sure to tell those you love most how you feel every day, and find new and different ways to communicate those feelings each time you share them. That’s better than any box of candy you can buy!
Little things count, like a special e-mail message, a single flower, a note in a lunchbox or briefcase, or a phone call to see if there’s anything you can pick up on the way home; anything that says “I’m thinking of you.”
So don’t fear that you have to come up with a big, grand gesture every time, or that it has to be costly to do. The best ways to show you love someone aren’t paid for with cash. They’re paid for with time, thought and energy.
Who do you love, and how are you going to show them you care? Share your ideas and inspire each other in the comments below.
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